Today was another long day at work. I was spread pretty thin; I don't think my boss realizes how strenuous it is to hold up everything he expects me to. It's tough, and I feel like any day now I'm gonna rip apart. Relief only comes after the hardest parts -- some days (oh who am I kidding, most days, multiple times), he forces me to keep my chin up. I say force because there's nothing else I can do, as he holds his head up high, gratified, and I can only go along with it, otherwise a hole would rip inside me. Even if my life is already a hellhole, I don't want it getting worse. Besides, when this happens he usually gives me a break for a bit. I have to suffer through a bit, but he lets me go, sparing me being drenched (in humiliation) and some unnecessary abrasion.

At the end of the day I'm thrown aside, but at least I made it through the day. It sucks, but we all have those days. Mine are just more frequent. Everyday, in fact. Some days I can look forward to getting off duty and being able to clean myself. It's a nice feeling, the water running over me, freeing pieces of the big man off me, both literally and figuratively. Other days, I'm not so lucky. One thing I like about this guy is that he doesn't discriminate. If I come to work worn and soiled, he'll use me again anyways. This unconditional feeling that I'll always have a purpose... it's the one thing in my life I hang on to, mentally and emotionally. Obviously I have lots of other things to hang onto physically...

*thaha*

It's tough being so large. My past is a mystery.

*thaha*